words begin with holy

holy bible, holy Quran, holy shit, holy f**k,holy father,holy mother,holly Willoughby



Words begin with holy

holy Bible
holy Quran
holy father
holy mother
holy f**k
holy shit
Holly Willoughby

birds missing shitting on human

birds that missing shitting on human
Birds that miss shitting on human.

mask and gloves

They said a mask and gloves were enough
They said a mask and gloves were enough to go to the grocery store.  They lied, everybody else had clothes on.

stay safe stay home

Lazy bastard vs responsible adult. 

New hijab for coronavirus

new hijab for coronavirus

Hijab.  Hijab meaning is a barrier or a cover.  The rule of Islam required for women to cover themselves for the whole body, not to be seen even just a strand of hair.  The purpose of wearing hijab is for self-respect.  A Muslim woman is not required wearing a hijab or any kind of veil when she with her husband (provided ''non-mahram'' is not around),  Other persons who can see the women without hijab is her ''mahram''.  ''Mahram'' means, the list of men for whom Muslim women are prohibited from marrying as follows:

  1. Fathers (includes grandfather, great grandfather, great-great-grandfather)
  2. Sons (includes sons and daughter sons, their sons and so on)
  3. Brothers (includes brother sons, their sons, and so on)
  4. Sisters sons (includes sister sons, their sons, and so on)
  5. Stepsons
  6. Stepfathers
  7. Father in law
  8. Son in law
  9. Paternal and maternal uncles
  10. All the men who in their infancy have shared breastfed with the same women

new bench

The new bench has been designed for public areas

The new bench has been designed for public areas.  (with public money, of course)

how are you?

coronavirus joke,covid-19 joke,funny photo,funny quote

How are you?  How everyone getting on with lockdown? 

alcoholic lockdown diary

I had a former housemate, every time I checked on him, he was either at the pub in town or in bed. This is where my idea of the quote came from.

things to do when lockdown is over

Initially, it was a shortlist but I got carried away.

rat

Chinese zodiac represented by twelve animal which cycle repeats every twelve years. It is believed that person luck, the most suitable career, compatible partner, personality traits, lucky numbers, lucky colours, things to avoid and what best to do determine by your zodiac animal. According to the Chinese zodiac, this year is a rat year.  One upon a time in Chinese's culture, it is normal for people to make the decision, based on what their zodiac says. For example, which women are suited to be married.

coronavirus_covid-19_paris fashion week

I just wonder, are we end up dress like this for the rest of our life?

funny cat


Hello, my name is Kitty, but I am a male cat. When I was a kitten, my owner mistook me as a male because she can't find my balls. Give me a break Lady G. Of course I have! and I have a message for you too. ''Why are you looking at me? Get back to work!''


Hello, my name is Lola.  I am a female cat.  I got my name from a dog name in a movie. Do I look like a dog?  Don't you think Lady G has chosen a wrong pet?

walking chemist shop


I got this nickname from a friend of mine because I was once always sick and often carrying medicines in my handbag wherever I go.

covid-19 joke_the voice


The truth was... it wasn't me sneezed.  It was another customer, and I was the ones who turned!


covid-19 joke_aeroplane

Was I asking too much?

social distancing


jokes for senior


I always use this joke in real life to make an excuse when I forget something. It turns out people like it.

This joke told by someone who an alcoholic himself.


My married friend said this to me a long ago when we were talking about people attitude.

junior quotes

A friend of mine told me this joke.
I got this idea from seeing people around me so obsessed uploading literally everything to Facebook.  It is like a competition.  No wonder Mark Zuckerberg getting richer!

I normally use this quote when advising someone who I believe let herself/himself manipulated by others.  I also use this quote to self-reminder.
''An apple a day keeps your doctor away''.  I use these words to encourage children to eat the apple. ''An onion a day keeps everyone away'', replied one of them.  (because I love to eat onion).  Onion makes your breath smelly when talking.  I can't win!


I am promoting eat healthily amongst children inline with government aims to promote healthy Ireland, and this is the reply I got.   

my pets stress face

boris and charles

When I discovered both of them infected with coronavirus, it's inspired me to create this joke.

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